Politics

BREXIT secretary David Davis has denied ever having heard the word ‘Brexit’ before and has asked somebody to explain it to him.

DAVID Davis has told MPs that dinosaurs did not demand an impact assessment for the meteor that wiped them out.

SCOTTISH Conservative leader Ruth Davidson has been ordered to drop her radical position of relative sanity and join her fellow Tories in madness.

LABOUR’S elusive leader Jeremy Corbyn has been located playing Laser Quest in Swindon.

PEOPLE just become confused and upset if they rise above their existing social class, the government has claimed.

BREXIT secretary David Davis has happily paid over £50 million to cancel his contract at Fitness First.

JACOB Rees-Mogg perused lithographs showing the bare ankles of Victorian strumpets in his constituency office, it has been claimed.

THE nation has reluctantly come to the defence of Theresa May after she was attacked for totally unfair reasons for once.

BREXIT minister David Davis has proudly told Britain that after six months of tough negotiating he has given in to every single one of the EU’s demands. 

PRESIDENT Trump’s latest racial slur is part of a White House strategy to make his offensive comments more accessible to the whole family.