Politics

THE government’s Brexit bill has suffered two shock defeats due to a mild breeze and a few spots of rain.    

A MAN completely forgot he had bought a large number of luxury flats, much like health secretary Jeremy Hunt, he has revealed.  

JEREMY Corbyn is not very good at helping his own team win at football, an amateur side has discovered.

THE Labour party is mired in controversy after trying to bribe young people with thrilling, luxurious free bus travel.  

TWO decades on from the Good Friday Agreement, most Britons think it was a telly programme with Chris Evans. 

A PARTY that sat between the Conservatives and Labour on the political spectrum would be a strange hybrid of the worse parts of both of them, it has been confirmed.

THE Conservatives and violent criminals have issued a joint statement stating that rising crime figures are nothing to do with the loss of 20,000 police officers. 

BRITONS would still vote for Brexit on the basis that nothing has yet happened or is likely to happen, they have confirmed.

THE UK is to introduce a bottle deposit scheme so when poor people moan they can be told to go out and collect them, the government has announced. 

EVERYONE accusing Jeremy Corbyn of tolerating anti-semitism has always been strongly opposed to prejudice in all its forms, they have announced.