Politics

FORMER Manchester United footballer Gary Neville has been providing live commentary on the ongoing Brexit negotiations. Here are some highlights.

AN administrative error means everyone who voted to leave the EU will be deported in a matter of weeks, it has emerged.

THE prime minister has returned from her walking holiday in the Alps with what she promises is an “absolute genius” idea.

UK voters desperately want a pro-European party with sensible centrist policies, according to people determined to ignore the existence of the Lib Dems.

JEREMY Corbyn has finally spoken out about the increasing price of Freddos, saying that both sides 'have a point'.

A RETIRED man who spends several hours a day posting pompous right-wing comments on websites is wondering how he coped before the internet.

A MAN who spends a huge amount of time posting hysterical left-wing comments on websites is genuinely wondering how he coped before the internet.

DAVID Davis has offered himself for crucifixion if Britain can leave the EU on favourable terms.

ELDERLY 'Leave' voters have admitted they thought Brexit was a chocolate-covered wafer biscuit.

KEN Livingstone has claimed Britain would be a much better place if he had killed all the people on his hit list when he had the chance.