Politics

THE prime minister has been praised for her obliviousness to irony after claiming there is 'no such thing as an unsackable minister'.

THE Conservatives have confirmed they will continue to eat each other until only one giant, bloated Tory remains.

PHILIP Hammond removes the top of his Bourbon biscuits to lick the cream inside, the latest damaging leak from Cabinet meetings has claimed.

HAVING a woman in a leading role that has always been filled by a man is just not credible, the Labour Party has confirmed.

PHILIP Hammond has told public sector workers that they should pay back what he has given them.

THE cool-sounding name of the Brexit department DExEU was lifted by senior Conservatives from an up-and-coming grime MC, it has emerged.

THERESA May has admitted that the ‘devastating’ election result made her shed a tear which burned through a desk, three floors and a young intern.

THE official who compared the government's Brexit plan to a chocolate orange has clarified he actually meant the senseless brutality of the film A Clockwork Orange.

BREXIT supporters have compared the 'Great Repeal Bill' to the Magna Carta and other momentous historical events they do not understand.

THERESA May's attempted relaunch is the worst since the Opal Fruits-Starburst catastrophe of 1998, it has been confirmed.