Politics

THE Queen’s Speech has ended abruptly with the words ‘fuck this,’ spoken halfway through a sentence, before the monarch wandered off.

A BREXITER who has finally realised it will not turn out well is to claim he was just joking.

TWO frontrunners have emerged in what is expected to be the most exciting Lib Dem leadership contest since William Gladstone defeated Florence Nightingale in 1865.

BRITONS should not turn against each other but remain united in love, according to prominent right-wing extremists keen to move on.

THERESA May is still the prime minister of the United Kingdom and no-one has the faintest idea why, it has been confirmed.

THERESA May has explained that she could not speak to residents of Grenfell Tower because she is feeling insecure and vulnerable right now.

BRITAIN has narrowly escaped becoming a Christian dictatorship under the iron hand of Tim Farron. 

WORKERS should have the same rights as politicians to completely bollocks things up and not lose their jobs, it has been claimed.

AS YOUR prime minister it is my duty to inform you that, following last week's election, I will be saying two new things.

THE Democratic Unionists plan to end Theresa May's hedonistic party lifestyle and turn her into a decent God-fearing Christian, they have announced.