Politics

Economy: Get. A. Fucking. Job.

Pig’s head story ‘100 per cent true’, confirms Cameron

DAVID Cameron has admitted the story about him inserting his penis into a pig’s head is ‘completely true’.

Report to your local registration centre immediately, warns May

THERESA May has warned all citizens that late registration will not be tolerated.

I’m not nasty, I’m just shit at this, insists Leadsom

ANDREA Leadsom has apologised for her controversial ‘motherhood’ comments, insisting she just has incredibly poor judgement and no empathy for other people.

Corbyn hoping Tories go for an unelectable fanatic as well

JEREMY Corbyn has backed Andrea Leadsom to be Tory leader on the grounds that unelectable radicals should stick together.

Anxious nation cheered by Gove’s dismal failure

BRITAIN is to start the weekend early in celebration of Michael Gove’s pathetic failure.

Andrea Leadsom’s CV claims she already is prime minister

TORY leadership candidate Andrea Leadsom’s CV list her current position as 'Prime Minister of the UK from 2010-ongoing'.

Farage to design posters for Trump campaign

NIGEL Farage has resigned as UKIP leader to focus on designing neo-fascist political posters for international clients.

Stephen Crabb to personally cure every homosexual in Britain  

CONSERVATIVE leadership candidate, Stephen Crabb, has announced he will cure every homosexual in Britain within three years.

'Thatcher's ghost told me to run' says every Tory leadership candidate

EVERY candidate for the Tory leadership has said they were visited by the ghost of Margaret Thatcher.