Politics

NIGEL Farage has been seen staggering up provincial high streets carrying duffel bags of banknotes searching for a bank that will accept him.

SUELLA Braverman has found an ideal alternative destination for asylum seekers, the former biological warfare testing ground Anthrax Island.

MATT Hancock has said he understands the ‘negative consequences’ of the pandemic but, on the plus side, he got to have sex with an attractive woman.

I WRITE this with a mixture of mirth and trepidation. Mirth, as I have just read the hilarious yet informative new Daily Mail column about diet pills by Boris Johnson.

A JOURNALIST turning out inflammatory columns for a downmarket rag has woken from a dream where he was briefly prime minister.

YOUR MP, terrified of both an electorate that hates Boris Johnson and the newspapers that love him, will be hiding from a vote today. But where?

FOOTAGE released from the Conservative lockdown 2020 Christmas party was taken from an ongoing livestream, the government has confirmed.

HARRIET Harman and objective truth have had it in for me for years, and now they have wickedly conspired to accuse me of things I definitely have done.

THE privileges committee has published its report into Boris Johnson lying to the House, and believes it can see a pattern.

AS the prime minister and the last-but-one prime minister trade barbs in public, concerns are growing that the spat could escalate into diss tracks.