Politics

Northern Powerhouse downgraded to Northern Outhouse

THE government has decided the North does not need a Northern Powerhouse and can make do with a new toilet instead.

I had one job, admits May

THE prime minister has acknowledged she was chosen to do one single task and has done nothing but fuck it up.

Government finds the one single thing that Brexit won’t f**k up

THE government has triumphantly announced that one small sector of the British economy will not be adversely affected by Brexit.

Boris sleeping in the House of Commons

POLITICIANS have realised Boris Johnson is sleeping in the House of Commons after being kicked out by his wife.

Your no-deal Brexit emergency survival guide

THE government has set up ‘Operation Yellowhammer’ to make emergency plans for a chaotic no-deal Brexit. So what should you do if everything goes to shit?

No-deal Brexit to be total pain in the arse which is absolutely great, Britain confusingly told

THE Government has detailed all the crippling inconveniences of a no-deal Brexit while adding how much we will love them.

Poem about Jeremy Corbyn may be shittest thing ever

A WOMAN’S poem praising Jeremy Corbyn may be the most horrendous thing ever to exist.

Jeremy Corbyn's guide to acting decisively

HELLO, comrades. As a top politician I know only too well the importance of acting swiftly and decisively. Here’s how to take the bull by the horns in a variety of real-life situations.

He doesn't even remember who I am, says sobbing Farage

NIGEL Farage has been sitting on the edge of his bed in the dark crying and holding a signed photo of President Trump, according to friends.

Brexit summit to be less intellectually stimulating than Love Island

TODAY’S Brexit summit will contain fewer intelligent arguments than Love Island, experts believe.