Politics

MICHAEL Gove, better known as The Government, has redefined extremism so he can ban any political group he dislikes, including the Tories, on the following grounds:

HEAVEN knows why, but a racist has donated £10 million to the Conservatives. Should the party return this tainted cash?

THE government has clarified that racist comments made by a millionaire donor are not as serious as regular race-based bigotry.

MP Lee Anderson is regretting leaving the Conservative party after hearing comments by top donor Frank Hester, it has emerged.

THE people of Britain have paid their respects to an ex-prime minister who was still utterly awful but marginally less crap than her successors.

THE Conservative Party has signalled it is entering the final stages of its 200-year existence by f**king over the last people in Britain who support it.

THE government recently argued that under-16s should be banned from social media, but it's old people like me who've been stupidly claiming an octopus mascot on University Challenge was antisemitic.