Politics

THE British public is relieved to see that disgraced Cabinet ministers are resigning in ignominy on a monthly basis once again.

GAVIN Willamson offered an ex-chief whip abuse, Tony Blair an arms deal and Sir David Attenborough a pair of breeding tarantulas to get into the Queen’s funeral. These are his texts.

NEED to talk about the current crises facing the country without mentioning one of the biggest contributing factors? Skirt around Brexit effortlessly with this guide.

HAVEN’T got two pennies to rub together? Worried about paying higher taxes? Let me, Rishi Sunak, explain why forking out a fortune you don’t have is actually really fun and cool.

GOOD day, Britain. I’m Matt Hancock, your former health secretary, and I’d like you all to attend my mid-life crisis.

A SITTING MP who is going on a reality television show on the other side of the world is perplexed as to why the public think so little of him.

THE government is to fill the £50 billion black hole in the public finances by taxing Britain’s stupidity.

OVERCROWDED migrant centres? More arriving every day? Home secretary given permission to unleash your most bigoted flights of fancy? Here’s where they should go.

HE’S the prime minister supposedly with a mandate from the people, but do you have any idea what Rishi Sunak actually stands for? Take our fiendish quiz.

JAMES Cleverly has told LGBT football fans they will need to make compromises when visiting Qatar for the World Cup. Here’s his guide to how you should behave.