Politics

IMMIGRANTS are coming to steal our country, and we certainly aren’t making that up to distract you from the shitshow we’ve made of the UK. Here are five facts you need to know.

BORIS Johnson’s resignation honours list includes his father, his wife, his baby son, six single mothers with ridiculous names, and more.

SUE Gray’s hiring by Labour proves once and for all there were no Downing Street lockdown parties and Boris Johnson did not attend them, the Tories have asserted.

WATCHING Matt Hancock squirm over leaked WhatsApp messages is fun until you remember hack ghoul Isabel Oakeshott is to blame. Find out who to support with this guide.

THE second volume of Matt Hancock’s diaries, covering when he found out his WhatsApps had been leaked, comes out today. These are the highlights.

AN amazing breakthrough Brexit deal has restored the situation in one small area of Britain to almost its blissful pre-2016 state.

TORY MP Steve Baker is a self-styled Brexit hardman, but can he hold his own against a genuine thug? Thanks to the Isle of Dogs Boxing Club & Gym, we found out.

BACK in Neolithic Britain, when everyone voted Conservative, there was no sea between Britain and Northern Ireland. Who put it there? The EU.

THERESE Coffey has been secretly filmed shredding and smoking turnips for what she claims is the ultimate British high.

YESTERDAY I set out Labour’s five missions for the future. Now I’m asking you to join me as we build a new Britain in which every bigot is fellated and no flag goes unshagged.