Alcohol

A GROUP of men in their 30s have downgraded their Saturday night 'larging it' plans to 'mediuming it' instead.

BRITAIN’S wine connoisseurs have admitted that the best wine to choose is whatever is on offer at the supermarkets.

A SWIFT nip of cooking wine to test its quality doesn’t count as drinking, right? Here are some other ways to kid yourself you’re staying sober this month.

A HUNGOVER woman is weeping in the kitchen because a fridge door refuses to stay shut.

CHRISTMAS party? Anyone sensible will recommend getting so drunk that you black out early doors, but sometimes that just isn’t possible. How else can you survive it?

BARMAIDS have confirmed that repeatedly tapping your debit card on the counter is the best way to get their attention.

A NORTHERNER generously waived what he imagined would have been his change from £10 for a round in a Covent Garden pub.

JD WETHERSPOON pubs are to be preserved as a warning to future generations, it has emerged.

THE mother and father of a three-year-old boy have asked family and friends to buy him sparkling wine for his birthday.

A MAN has asked a barman in a London pub what they have that’s fairly priced, while presumably expecting the dead to rise and frogs to rain from the sky.