Alcohol

THE World Health Organisation has advised men that as long as they have consumed a minimum of four alcoholic drinks they are fine to urinate in the garden.

WETHERSPOONS has called for the creation of huge out-of-town warehouse-style pubs to be held in reserve in case of a Covid spike.

A TWAT in a busy supermarket is about to f**k up everyone’s day by scanning wine through a self-service checkout, it has emerged.

A 45-YEAR-OLD man is still bedridden with a steaming hangover 48 hours after glancing at a pint of Stella Artois.

A PLAN to just have a couple of glasses from a lunchtime bottle of wine was flawed in conception best and wholly unachievable in reality, a couple has confirmed.

A man has put an upside-down spoon in a bottle of Cava because he 'knows about wine'.

BRITONS returning to pubs after months of drinking at home have been shocked at the cost of what they consider a single measure.

CLEVER middle class people are going to the pub this weekend instead, having dodged both the common folk and the rush.

OUT for a swift one? Staying out for nine more? Here are the five crucial rules to obey so you can slur ‘I swear I’ve remained within public health guidelines’ when you stagger in.

ENGLAND is suffering an apocalyptic hangover only made worse by Scotland and Wales nagging about how irresponsible it has been.