Arts & Entertainment
ULTRA-LOCAL television services will give you up-to-the-minute coverage on things like what's happening in next door's garden, it has emerged.
FILMS without merit can now be downloaded without fear of prosecution, it has been confirmed.
THE world's largest gathering of picture-story fans is teeming with adults, it has emerged.
JETHRO, the commander in chief of the comedians, will decide later today who may live out of Stewart Lee and Michael McIntyre.
THEATREGOERS are being subjected to an increased number of bootleg plays and pirated performances, it has emerged.
THE BBC was handed a dictionary last night after using the world 'talent' to describe Richard Hammond.
THE Harry Potter saga has come to life with the boy wizard taking the form of the Guardian, experts have confirmed.
THE BBC hopes to boost the ratings of Newsnight by switching its editorial focus towards tanning and genital decoration in Essex.
CHOIR-preacher Johann Hari has dismissed claims of plagiarism during a fantasy interview where he pretended he was talking to Michael Parkinson.
THE latest Transformers sequel has somehow made enormous flying robots seem like the dullest thing that has ever happened, it emerged last night.