Arts & Entertainment

750,000 middle class homes could be forced to get Sky

SATELLITE broadcaster Sky's increasingly monopoly on quality TV drama could force many middle-class homes into the murky terrain of dish ownership.

Question Time to include gerbil, cardboard cut-out of Rio Ferdinand and two-day old baby

NEXT week's Question Time will see the first appearance by a gerbil on the BBC's flagship political debate programme.  

BBC launches inquiry into what working class people like

THE BBC has ordered a multi-million pound investigation into the tastes of the poor.

Popular music to improve

WITH almost eight million people under 25 unemployed popular music could soon be slightly less vacuous, it emerged last night.

Local TV to give prejudiced, small-minded communities a voice

SMALL regional TV stations are to provide an outlet for the stupid opinions of petty, annoying bigots living in remote places.

Brit Awards 'clinically unwatchable', say experts

TONIGHT’S Brit awards will be 'clinically unwatchable', according to the Royal College of Physicians.

92% think they could do better art than Damien Hirst

MORE than 90% of Britons have an idea for some art, it emerged last night.

'Gayboy' removed from Peter Pan

A ROW has erupted after the word 'gayboy' was removed from a new edition of the JM Barrie classic Peter Pan.

Look at these fat freaks, says television

THIS year's television schedules will focus on staring blankly at the immensely fat, it has been confirmed.

David Cronenberg steps down from Eastenders

THE BBC last night said it had no regrets after placing veteran film-maker David Cronenberg in charge of Eastenders over the festive period.