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Arts & Entertainment

Six songs that suggest the artist is a massive twat to go out with

A SURPRISING number of songs contain the message ‘Don’t go out with this twat’. Here are some tunes the artists thought weren’t weird at all… 

Six Hollywood beefcakes who are a genuine threat to your marriage

NO matter how happy you think your marriage is, it would end the instant one of these hunks came calling on your wife. Know them and fear them.

The shit bands that are staying on Spotify to absolutely clean up

NEIL Young has triggered an exodus of talented musicians with integrity from Spotify, leaving these talentless twats to rake in a fortune.

Cool dad into new bands like Arctic Monkeys

A MAN is insisting to his children that he is still relevant because he loves music by new bands such Arctic Monkeys.

The worst albums to have sex to

GETTING some? Decide to put on a little music to keep the mood sexy? Made the wrong choice, curtailing sex entirely? You might have put on one of these:

Six musical 'classics' which were really overblown, pompous toss

FROM Bohemian Rhapsody to Stairway to Heaven, the world of classic rock is littered with self-indulgent, pompous crap. Here are some examples.

Morrissey sends angry open letter to Morrissey of 1983

MORRISSEY has launched an extraordinary broadside against his 1983 self, the lead singer of The Smiths.

Threats to kill or misogynist abuse: How should you react to the Swift/Albarn Twitter spat?

BRITPOP’S Damon Albarn has had a pop at total world dominance’s Taylor Swift about songwriting. As ever, it is the duty of Twitter users to provide deranged overreaction.

The six shittest Number Ones of the 00s

THE Noughties were a time of low-rise jeans and even lower standards for music. These six singles meant the new millennium was a write-off almost immediately:

Funfairs only fun if they're rundown deathtraps

FAIRGROUNDS are only worth going to if they look so ramshackle that you are in genuine fear for your life, it has been confirmed.