Business
Tesco launches economy music range
BRITAIN'S leading supermarket is to manufacture a blandly efficient range of Tesco Value Music.
Tesco lays foundation for new level of hell
GIRAFFE restaurants attached to supermarkets promise a new era in soul-destruction, Tesco has claimed.
John Lewis bonus paid in garlic presses and glass paperweights
JOHN Lewis has announced that its 17% staff bonuses will be paid in the form of non-essential household accessories.
Britain to continue cupping bankers' testicles
BRITAIN will oppose an EUÂ ban on gently warming the testicles of bankers.
British Gas to hire 1,000 trainee bastards
BRITISH Gas will take on 1,000 young people over the next three years and teach them how to be unremitting bastards.
The Mash Guide to Working From Home
WORKING from home is great - it's almost like being free.
Royal Mail launches letter-burying service
THE Royal Mail is offering to bury the heap of marketing bullshit it would otherwise put through your letterbox.
