Environment

PROPER cars will be illegal from 2030, and men will be forced to drive electric vehicles that shrink their genitalia. Here Nathan Muir answers your questions about how wrong this is. 

DO you have an important point to make but want to get it across in a way that makes everyone think you’re an absolute wanker? Follow these tips.

TIME has once again been altered because of about a dozen people who still deliver milk or grow things.

IN every city street and country lane in Britain an abandoned facemask lies dirty and forlorn. But exactly who are the twats throwing them away, and why? 

A NEW campaign is aiming to bring back discarded pornographic magazines to Britain’s woodlands.

UNFORTUNATELY it’s autumn, which means dead bits of trees are falling from their branches. Here’s how they plan to ruin your life.

A LARGE, omnivorous family living in a five-bedroom house with four acres of grounds would like to lecture you on protecting the environment.

A CAT has confirmed that it will do its utmost to shit exactly where you plan to tread in your front and back garden.

FOXES in your area have announced that one of the longest and loudest all-night orgies on record will begin the moment you try to get to sleep.

GRETA Thunberg has returned to school to find neither her teacher or any of her classmates noticed she was gone.