Environment

LONDON is now smothering its residents literally as well as metaphorically. 

NOBODY has starved to death so far despite a desperate lack of courgettes reaching British shores.

HEAVY snow or hardly any snow are both a great excuses for a massive whine, the UK population has confirmed.

A LOBSTER is dismayed to have ended up in the frozen food section of Lidl, he has confirmed.

THE Met Office has thanked your dad for keeping people up-to-date with the weather via Facebook.

SCOTLAND is experiencing bad weather for the first time in its history.

MANY sheep have extreme political views, it has emerged.

A CAT is acting tough because of being outside.

A RAT that is 'the size of a normal rat' has been sighted.

MUMS are treating the fairly cold weather as if it were lethal radiation, it has been confirmed.