Environment

THE Forth Road Bridge has been closed after engineers discovered it was well over the safe alcohol limit, it has emerged.

A RAT has been left depressed by reports of so-called ‘super rats’.

CLIMATE change can be stopped by purchasing goods that say ‘eco’ on the packaging, it has been claimed.

A HUGE cat has responded to attempts to evict it from a garden with cold indifference.

A 45-YEAR-OLD man has turned on his fog lights in the manner of a spy firing an under-bonnet machine gun.

A CAT has refused to eat a slightly cheaper brand of catfood, despite having recently eaten a rat.

A BRAVE dog has prevented its owner from talking to a possible romantic partner.

THE volume of drawings created by children will bury Britain by 2028 unless urgent action is taken, environmentalists have warned.

A DADDY long legs trapped in a bath has admitted the situation is far from ideal.

MOST Audi cars have a knobhead fitted in the driver’s seat, it has emerged.