Environment

Bunch of flooding experts acting like smart arses

A BUNCH of ‘flooding experts’ have come up with a lot of fancy solutions three weeks too late.

Floods to be followed by giant wolf eating the sun

METEOROLOGISTS have confirmed that Ragnarok, the Viking apocalypse, will happen on Sunday.

Sinkholes are badgers’ revenge

SINKHOLES appearing across Britain are an act of revenge by the badgers.

Unparalleled Britain battles havoc crisis

BRITAIN'S chaos crisis is no longer paralleled.

Cameron to visit big, grey cloud

DAVID Cameron will today visit one of the big, grey clouds over Britain in a bid to ‘get a handle’ on rain.

Environment Agency to fill Somerset with piranhas

THE Environment Agency is to step up its attack on Somerset with more than two million carnivorous fish.

Devon launches 'Absolutely crawling with beaver' tourism campaign

DEVON is promoting itself as the top holiday destination for lovers of beaver.

News mainly pictures of waves

NEWS editors have confirmed that they are mostly going to be doing pictures of waves for the time being.

Fracking thing starting to feel completely insane

THE search for shale gas in the UK is beginning to feel as if it might be psychotic, it has emerged.

Cats into people humour

CATS love any quirky and winsome humour associated with people, it has emerged.