Health

The strict rules all GPs must follow before they prescribe Mounjaro

WEIGHT-loss jab Mounjaro is now available from the NHS, but will your GP prescribe it? Only if you meet these strict criteria.

How to care for a friend's Northerner while they're away

A FRIEND is in the Algarve, and you’ve been entrusted with the care of their Northerner. Here’s how to ensure he remains healthily gruff and bitter-supping.

Is my cocaine Angel Delight, or vice versa? How to spot the difference

BRITONS have smuggled cocaine disguised as Angel Delight, which has millions with a packet of the latter at the back of a cupboard wondering: should I snort it? Apply these tests.

Ripped man seen solemnly putting shirt back on as temperature drops

A MAN with an impressive six-pack has been sighted looking upwards at cloud cover, sighing and shaking his head, then putting his T-shirt back on.

Anti-obesity drugs good for everything else too so suck that, fitness twats

WEIGHT-loss drugs also cut the risk of strokes and heart attacks in a massive blow to the innate superiority of twats who spend their lives at the gym.

Woman realises personal trainer is her own individual PE teacher

A WOMAN who hired a personal trainer had no idea she was summoning a PE teacher for whom she is the lone fat, lazy bastard in the class.

'I only find sparkling refreshing': Six water wankers who need to get a grip

WATER is, ultimately, water. Sadly that doesn’t stop some being incredibly particular about the hydration they need to live, like the following wankers...

Teenagers switch from disposably vaping to properly, permanently vaping

YOUNG people have turned away from disposable vapes to sober, heavyweight vapes that will last a lifetime, just as the government intended.