Health

ADORABLE babies wake up screaming far more frequently and loudly than their uglier peers, researchers have found.

A MAN’S plans to get himself a beach-ready six-pack in time for summer have been postponed until August at the absolute latest.

ARE you an interfering sod who’s never seriously smoked who nonetheless offers advice to anyone trying to give up? Try these:

A MAN who is ill in bed and feeling miserable is wondering whether a wank might help.

THE parents of young children have admitted they are just going to Calpol their way through the next five years.

ACUPUNCTURE has been shown to be extremely effective among people who have nothing wrong with them.

IT’S currently normal to claim you’ve got an addiction when really it’s just something you like doing. See if you are suffering from any of these bullshit addictions.

ABANDONING the outside world in favour of a big glass tube can extend your life expectancy by decades, according to a new study.

DARTH Vader’s harsh respiratory sounds were caused by vaping Blueberry Ice, according to a new documentary.  

DENTISTS have confirmed that they charge huge amounts as compensation for having to spend their working lives staring into your disgusting mouths.