Health

MARS bars have been recalled across Europe following the discovery they help consumers to do nothing except become fatter.

THE UK has admitted that it finds curved croissants too sexually ambiguous to eat.  

THOSE incredibly sickly drinks you like have sugar in them, it has emerged.

A NON-DRINKER’S most enjoyable sensory experience is a bowl of light brown soup, he has revealed.

NEWS of a breakthrough cancer treatment has prompted a man to light his first cigarette of the year.

ANTI-ISLAM group Pegida shares its name with a type of nasty groin rash, it has emerged.

THE legal blood-alcohol level for Uber users has been lowered after serious damage to passenger ratings.

A MALE office worker with a cold is excitedly awaiting clever and funny remarks about how he actually has ‘man flu’, it has emerged.

DOCTORS only do it because they like cutting people up or making them take their clothes off, health secretary Jeremy Hunt has claimed.

A WOMAN who claims to put on weight no matter how little she eats could solve the world’s energy crisis, it has emerged.