Health

A WOMAN has contracted a stinking cold despite following a special diet based on wishful thinking.

BRITAIN has paid tribute to the so-called ‘problem’ drinkers who have raised billions in tax revenue.

AMYL nitrate users are concerned about where they will get their instant headaches if it is made illegal. 

MILLIONS of unsold Creme Eggs are about to break open and release the hideous monsters inside, scientists have confirmed.

JUNIOR doctors have abandoned their strike action because they are just so f**king exhausted.

A BOTTLE of beer has given a surprisingly solid argument for why its owner should drink it.

THE UK has happily accepted drinking guidelines of 14 units a week because it has no idea what that means.  

FITNESS obsessives across the UK are claiming they need to lose weight after Christmas, it has emerged.

PAUSING during sex to have a lengthy coughing fit is fine, according to smokers.

THE UK has declared itself just about ready to eat and drink everything it wants while awarding itself expensive gifts.