Health

THE North’s sexually transmitted diseases can beat any antibiotic on the market without putting their pints down, doctors have confirmed.

MILLIONS of otherwise rational women are trying to use toilets without touching them.

A 43-YEAR-OLD woman has discovered that her stomach has become the standard image that illustrates news articles about obesity.

BEING overweight can lead to bad advice from idiots who are suddenly experts on diet and exercise.

OREGANO bought on the streets is laced with other herbs that could have devastating effects on a tomato-based sauce.

WEALTHY over-50s have slurred that they can look after themselves when it comes to alcohol.

MARKS & Spencer is set to replace Percy Pigs with methadone at its tills.

WOMEN are getting pregnant just so they can get high on ‘hippy crack’ from the NHS, it has emerged.

THE DAILY Mail has assured its female readers that it will make them pregnant if they are still childless by 35.

TAKING Instagram egg photos can trigger insanity, it has emerged.