Health

EXPERTS giving out dietary advice believe everyone spends their days sitting down in a nice warm office, it has emerged.

A WOMAN has abandoned watching her weight because her mother, boyfriend and work colleagues already have it covered.

EVERY olive is to be made into oil after it was confirmed nobody enjoys eating them.

FOOD may be less harmful than previously thought, it has been claimed.

PERIODS of recuperative rest are still an obstacle to unlimited mobile phone usage, it has emerged.

ANYONE feeling ill during the doctors’ strike has been advised to just look it up on a computer.

SINGLE people prefer to avoid kale and other bullshit vegetables, according to a new study.

A FATHER who used to take loads of Ecstasy has warned his teenage son of the perils of drugs.

MOST people who go to hospitals do so purely for fun, it has been claimed.

A MAN who extended his life span by avoiding processed meats bitterly regrets having done so, it has emerged.