Health

ALL doctors smoke fags, it has been confirmed.

TRENDY barefoot running is the perfect combination of misery, showing off and pain, according to exercise fanatics.

DOWNLOADING an exercise app is not the same as actually doing exercise, it has been confirmed.

MARS bars have been recalled across Europe following the discovery they help consumers to do nothing except become fatter.

THE UK has admitted that it finds curved croissants too sexually ambiguous to eat.  

THOSE incredibly sickly drinks you like have sugar in them, it has emerged.

A NON-DRINKER’S most enjoyable sensory experience is a bowl of light brown soup, he has revealed.

NEWS of a breakthrough cancer treatment has prompted a man to light his first cigarette of the year.

ANTI-ISLAM group Pegida shares its name with a type of nasty groin rash, it has emerged.

THE legal blood-alcohol level for Uber users has been lowered after serious damage to passenger ratings.