Health

AFTER decades of women being described as being ‘pear-shaped’ and similar, men have been given their own contrived body shapes.

HOMEOPATHY will have eradicated itself by 2032, it has been confirmed.

CHILDREN as young as seven are collecting cigarette packets for the gruesome health warning.

IF you want to be fit you have to keep doing exercise forever, it has emerged.

THE NHS has admitted some forms of heart disease are caused by the alignment of planets in the outer solar system.

THE government has urged women to save money on sanitary products by using Jaffa Cakes.

PEOPLE who claim to enjoy skunk would secretly like some normal weed that doesn’t make them feel as weird.

LUNGS look horrible regardless of whether their owner smokes, it has emerged.

ACROSS the UK, millions of people are earning second incomes by turning their bodies into 24-hour mucus production facilities.

THE government's contemporary plain packaging for cigarettes has made them desirable once again.