Health

Lard back in fashion as a lubricant

PIG fat is back in vogue as a sexual lubricant, it has emerged.

Fried food ban could kill Scottish children

SCOTTISH children may die if schools can only serve them deep fried food once a week, it has been claimed.

One person in three on cusp of diabetes and eating Snickers

A THIRD of the UK on the edge of developing Type II diabetes then went ahead and got it.

Tiredness the main cause of racism, say experts

PHYSICAL exertion and lack of sleep are to blame for Britain’s racism epidemic, according to a new study.

Government adding cocaine to tap water

HUGE amounts of cocaine are being added to the water supply in a bid to make the population more productive.

No way tobacco product might turn out to be harmful

'HARMLESS' tobacco products are never revealed to be bad for users, according to electronic cigarette makers.

Mango shortage puts middle-class kids in danger of real sweets

CHILDREN of twee parents risk tasting refined sugar for the first time as Britain is hit by a mango shortage.

Homeopathy replaced by fagsopathy

FORMER homeopathic doctors are offering a new treatment where patients smoke a lot of cigarettes.

Waitrose coffee 'nauseatingly middle class'

WAITROSE cafe customers have fallen ill after drinking coffee contaminated with bourgeois values.

Heavy drinkers to get new livers so Britain doesn’t run out of people

THE NHS is to ease the rules on liver transplants so that Britain will still have enough people.