Health

BRITAIN’S men are getting their bodies into the perfect overweight shape for the beach.

LONDON Marathon participants have been warned that the wall they went through was just a figure of speech.

BRITONS exercise purely to justify eating more food, it has emerged.

EVERY possible lifestyle choice is simultaneously good and bad for you, it has been confirmed.

A REVOLUTIONARY new type of plastic surgery does not make people look worse than they did before.

AFTER decades of women being described as being ‘pear-shaped’ and similar, men have been given their own contrived body shapes.

HOMEOPATHY will have eradicated itself by 2032, it has been confirmed.

CHILDREN as young as seven are collecting cigarette packets for the gruesome health warning.

IF you want to be fit you have to keep doing exercise forever, it has emerged.

THE NHS has admitted some forms of heart disease are caused by the alignment of planets in the outer solar system.