Health

THE trend for men wearing woven elastic bands around the penis is affecting male health, experts have warned.

FACEBOOK addict Wayne Hayes has become so reliant on the site that he communicates entirely in leading statements.

A DESIRE to read tawdry articles about health may be a sign that your brain is not working properly, doctors have warned.

OVER 700,000 people in the UK take cocaine regularly, despite none of them liking it.

DAVID Cameron has set up a Cabinet committee to decide if ebola is a bad thing.

ELDERLY people are to get vital heart exercise from people jumping out of their cupboards dressed as the undead.

THE entire population of the UK has moved downstairs to sleep inside the fridge.

GOTHS have warned against exposure to sunlight during and after the heatwave.

DESIGN guru Jony Ive, the man behind the iPod and iPhone, has signed up to design the new featureless cigarette packaging.

MUSCLE-BUILDING steroids have been confirmed as this decade's defining drug.