Lifestyle

A MAN’S attempt to use a proudly independent record shop and cafe near his home was regretted within moments of walking in, he has confirmed.

A WOMAN invited to a night round a friend’s house drinking ‘fizz’ and watching a romcom is looking into faking her own death to dodge it.

THE realm of Hades itself has finally been brought to our earthly plane at this weekend’s Download festival, attendees have agreed. 

HAVE you watched stylish chameleon assassin Villanelle in Killing Eve and decided you could probably pull off that one outfit, the one with the hat? Think again.

A BRITISH man believes that saying English words in a French accent means he is actually speaking French.

ARE you and your middle class chums planning to rent a cottage in rural Dorset or similar? Here’s how to be as annoying as possible.

A MAN who has agreed to a big night out with mates is praying there will be some sort of disaster so he can be in bed by 10pm.

TATTOOS are great and nobody ever regrets them, so why not get one done where everyone can see it? Good idea? Bad idea?

A MAN has organised a Straight Pride festival that reflects his heterosexual values by putting on a barbecue in a corner of Homebase car park.

A COUPLE'S online wedding list has got to be taking the piss, it has been confirmed.