Lifestyle

Man working in bong shop not a great advert for the product

A MAN working in a bong shop is an enormous obstacle to sales of the product and the acceptance of cannabis in general. 

How to appear slightly younger than you are

ARE you sad about being quite old? Here are some ways to look younger that might just convince people to knock a few years off your age. 

Parents 'genuinely believed' violin would be less annoying than recorder

THE parents of a musically ungifted child have discovered that a violin can sound just as bad as a recorder.

Dream of owning Aga crushed by having to use the f*cking thing

A COUPLE who thought their middle-class dream was complete when they bought an Aga have instead ended up with burnt meals and a massive gas bill.

Five pathetic ways to try and impress people

DO you constantly try to impress people with your frankly unspectacular achievements? Here’s how to go about it.

Man referring to himself as 'single parent' because wife had night out

A MAN whose wife went out from 7pm to 12.30am last weekend has spent more than a week referring to himself as a ‘single parent’.

Britain's fannies excited to go full Chewbacca for winter

THE UK’s female pubic regions are looking forward to going the full Chewbacca for the coming winter months, their owners have confirmed.

Inconsiderate prick brings children to London

A PAIR of selfish pricks have brought their children to central London, ruining it for everyone.

Tourist in Leicester Square asks for directions to Leicester Square not this dump

A TOURIST in search of Leicester Square assumed he was in some other grotty part of the capital when in fact he was in the middle of it.

Dry clean only dress gets Febrezed again

A DRESS labelled ‘dry clean only’ has been given its fourth Febreze before being worn for another night out.