Lifestyle

DUNGAREES have never been good and they never, ever will be, it has been confirmed.

THE best way to be a really good friend to someone is to say ‘mmm-hmm’ frequently, sincerely and meaningfully while they are talking.

A MAN working in a bong shop is an enormous obstacle to sales of the product and the acceptance of cannabis in general. 

ARE you sad about being quite old? Here are some ways to look younger that might just convince people to knock a few years off your age. 

THE parents of a musically ungifted child have discovered that a violin can sound just as bad as a recorder.

A COUPLE who thought their middle-class dream was complete when they bought an Aga have instead ended up with burnt meals and a massive gas bill.

DO you constantly try to impress people with your frankly unspectacular achievements? Here’s how to go about it.

A MAN whose wife went out from 7pm to 12.30am last weekend has spent more than a week referring to himself as a ‘single parent’.

THE UK’s female pubic regions are looking forward to going the full Chewbacca for the coming winter months, their owners have confirmed.

A PAIR of selfish pricks have brought their children to central London, ruining it for everyone.