Lifestyle

'GOING somewhere?' has been voted the last thing a hostage wants to hear after they have finally managed to chew through the rope that has held them captive for eight weeks.

BRITAIN’S pubs have criticised the public for drinking cheap supermarket booze when they could be supporting their hellish local hostelry.

A WOMAN who has just been paid  is acting like an eccentric heiress from the 1920s, it has emerged.

A WOMAN who spent over £300 on a new vacuum cleaner does not mind admitting that using it is more satisfying than any sex she has ever had in her life.

MAKING plans with friends is excellent until you have to leave the house and do the sodding thing, it has emerged.

A MAN going 10-pin bowling suddenly began larking around after his first two bowls were hopelessly inaccurate, friends noticed.

BAR owners cannot believe they are getting away with charging £10 for a ‘mocktail’.

A MAN has initiated yet another ill-fated experiment with his facial hair while his girlfriend is away.

A SINGLE man is considering getting a third piece of furniture to go with his television and armchair.

A MIDDLE class couple weirdly spent a fortnight in Spain without latching onto another identical couple.