Lifestyle

BRITAIN’S bald men are absolutely delighted that hat season has come around again.

BRINGING small screaming children into restaurants is legal, it has been claimed.

MIDDLE-AGED Britain is officially entering the season where it awkwardly wears leather jackets, it has been confirmed.

A WOMAN is struggling to go anywhere without a takeaway coffee in her hand.

A WOMAN in Bristol is unable to get rid of her partially shaved haircut, it has emerged.

A MAN with perfect teeth has told friends that he never misses a dental check-up because he loves them.

THE resident Romeo in Games Workshop has informed a hapless idiot of the difference between a die and some dice.

DOCTORS have warned that an epidemic of horribly heavy comedy eyebrows appears to be spreading across the UK.

THE three for £10 Toblerone deal in airport shops is now the only reason anyone flies, experts have confirmed.

A WOMAN'S life is still a lot of crap despite affirmations and visualisation, it has been confirmed.