Lifestyle

ARE your annoying children endlessly pestering you for a pet? Here are five options in order of how soon they’ll croak.

A COUPLE have sworn that their newborn baby will not change their cool, fun, and completely out of touch with reality personalities.

SCHEDULING in some weekend fun is a great idea until you have to see the plan through. Here are the activities you’ll hate yourself for when doomsday arrives.

SOME achievements should be proudly cherished forever. Then there are these accomplishments which idiots need to shut up about.

IN your day there were just chavs and goths but now teenagers are into all sorts of strange shit. Here are some of the weirdest.

WANT to buy your mum a simple yet thoughtful card? Bad luck. Your options range from pastel monstrosities with flowers to woefully inappropriate humour.

DID you spend an evening a week wearing a ridiculous uniform and trying to earn pointless badges? Here’s how being a girl or boy scout didn’t make you the better person it was meant to.

THE world’s super-rich have been asked what’s so f**king amazing about yachts that they all feel obliged to lash out half a billion on them.

WORDLE has swept social media, with daily posts of some green and yellow square bollocks. You can’t do it and fail in these ways too.

PARENTS always have the same boring, easily fixed complaints about their kids. A non-parent explains how to avoid the obvious pitfalls.