Lifestyle

A CUDDLY, playful kitten is already displaying the character traits of the savage, vengeful bastard it will be as an adult, his new owner has reported.

TALKING about the meaning of life? You must be stoned. Here are the other meandering chats you have when you're high as balls.

SOCIETY expects women to look a certain way, but blokes have beauty standards to live up to as well, such as these bare minimum requirements:

FOR KIDS, birthdays are an exciting occasion of cakes and presents. But once you’re an adult they’re nothing more than a new high number to celebrate in these dull ways.

WITH the weather starting to turn as autumn arrives, all British gardens are now clogged up with pointless summer shit.

MOTHERS hold families together, but even they have secret terrors that stalk their very nightmares. These things scare them shitless.

KIDS in the 1970s faced death-defying risks on a daily basis, and the survivors don’t like to talk about it. Here are six hazards they shrugged off.

YOUR kids are back in school with hundreds of pounds of new stuff, and the useless bastards will have misplaced it all by 3pm. These things already need replacing.

HAS it ever occurred to you that something every sane person thinks or does might be completely wrong? Undiscovered genius Tom Logan expounds his revolutionary ideas.

LOVE saving money to the extent that you’ll forego being able to enjoy the thing you’ve bought? Try these purchases.