Lifestyle

The self-entitled twat's guide to flying off on holiday

DO you think it’s fine to be a dick so long as you get your precious week in Malaga? Here mum-of-two Donna Sheridan explains how to behave like a f**king animal at the airport and beyond.

Six things sold at the farmers' market that are f**k all to do with farms

EVERYONE loves an airy morning at the farmers’ market blowing a week’s wages on two items. But what the f**k have these got to do with farms?

House party reminds woman why she drinks alone

A WOMAN’S decision to attend a house party has provided watertight evidence as to why she should only ever drink alone.

'Nice piece of kit': Things men say to feel like proper blokes

INSECURE about your masculinity? Start saying these phrases to sound like a proper blokey geezer.

Sausage, chips and beans for tea: Five things grown men still get inexplicably excited by

DESPITE growing up, owning a home and starting a family, nothing gives men greater joy than certain types of utterly stupid shit. Here are just five examples.

Traffic cones, and other pathetic things everyone steals as a rite of passage

STEALING is wrong. That said, here are five things you, and absolutely everyone else, stole at some point while you were growing up.

It's all covered in dog piss, and other reasons why foraging is a terrible idea

THINK you’re going to make some lovely, organic pesto from that wild garlic you foraged? You won’t, because it will have the added ingredient of dog urine. Here are some other reasons:

The soft-as-shite bloke's guide to avoiding violence

DO you sometimes wish you could resort to violence? Sadly, the option’s unavailable for those not hard in any way. Here’s the reality.

How to get that low-effort, barely-there make-up look in 24 easy steps

CRAVING that simple, natural, no make-up look? Let beauty expert Carolyn Ryan guide you through with this straightforward 24-step guide.

'Is £100k a good salary for a 27-year-old?' How to be a personal finance wanker

CONCERNED that not everyone in the UK knows about your high income? Why not kick up a massive fuss about it?