Lifestyle

HAVE you got a car you only use to nip into town with a dashboard that looks like it’s been designed by NASA? Here’s why modern cars are shit.

YOUR greatest achievements occurred during childhood. But strangely none of them are highly valued in adult life. Weep as you remember the pointless effort you put into these…

HI, I’m Nathan Muir. I’m a normally dressed middle-aged man now. But back in the 80s and 90s I looked like a colossal knobhead due to my fashion choices. Here are some of them:

A MAN who has not been on a foreign holiday for three years has seamlessly reprised his role as a massive prick of a tourist.

PLANNING on making a total hash of bin day again? Here's a step-by-step guide to f**king it up good and proper.

YOU'RE trying to have a nice relaxed time in a cafe, or maybe do something constructive. Which bastards plan to ruin the experience for you today?

BOOMERS have confirmed that wanting to enjoy small luxuries as well as having the basic necessity of a home is typical of feckless snowflake millennials.

AGE restrictions for online porn are coming in, so we must look to the wisdom of the elders. Top-shelf buyer Martin Bishop explains his ancient art.

LOOKING to get lucky? Hoping you can do it by learning a few scripted lines, like a call-centre customer adviser of love?

PERSONALISING your car is a brilliant way of warning other road users there’s a twat about so keep a good distance.