Lifestyle

Are you edgy or just desperately seeking attention?

ARE you genuinely edgy, deep and enigmatic or is it a thinly veiled attempt to get attention? Take our test and find out.

Nonconformist couple living off home-grown veg and parent-grown inheritance

A COUPLE are totally independent thanks to food they grow themselves and money they inherited from their families.

'You can have it all' confirms man who squeezed in two w*nks before work

MEN can 'have it all' according to a 38-year-old who managed to masturbate twice before work.

The six tricks to sleeping through a heatwave

IT’S boiling hot, you’re sticky and total b*stards keep driving past in their noisy cars. Try getting a cool seven hours with these tips. 

Woman not sure whether she's wet herself or just really sweaty

A WOMAN driving in the heatwave is so sweaty she is wondering whether it is possible she might have actually p*ssed herself. 

Five things to be a pedantic twat about

DO you feel the need to argue obscure points that genuinely intelligent people don’t waste their time with? Here are some great things to bang on about.

D*ckhead tooth fairy forgot kid's tooth

A SIX-year-old girl was left distraught after the d*ckhead tooth fairy went to the pub and forgot to take her tooth.

Thirtysomething thought everyone was joking about having a pension

A MAN in his mid-30s thought all his mates were joking about having pension plans, he has admitted.

The six best ways to keep children amused for six whole f**king weeks

SIX weeks is longer than you get off in a year, but for anyone aged between four and 16 it’s just summer. Here’s how to keep them busy.

Man committed to reaching ticket machine without opening car door

A DRIVER is committed to reaching a car park ticket machine without leaving his car or opening the door, no matter the cost.