Man 'babysitting' his children while wife 'meets friend for coffee'

A MAN who refers to looking after his own children as ‘babysitting’ has taken his wife’s claim to be ‘meeting a friend for coffee’ entirely at face value.

All the noises coming from the kitchen are angry

EVERY noise emanating from the kitchen from furiously clinking cutlery to irately closed cupboards is extremely angry, a husband has confirmed.

Older siblings great because they catch all the sh*t

OLDER brothers and sisters are great because they break all the rules and catch all the sh*t and you get away scot-free, younger siblings have confirmed.

Dog realises entire life built around couple

A GOLDEN retriever who never thought he would be ‘one of those dogs’ who organised his whole life around humans is doing just that.

Weddings in stupid places to bankrupt Britain

MILLIONS of Britons are facing financial ruin because their friends keep getting married in distant, expensive places they have only visited once.

Is everyone else having loads more sex than you?

WORRIED your sex life has shrivelled and died whilst everyone else is at it hammer-and tongs? Here’s how to measure your sexual activity against the national average.

Couple's flat decorated entirely with photos of them

A COUPLE’S home has photographs of them together literally everywhere you look, friends have confirmed.

New dating app for people with massive holes in their earlobes

A NEW DATING app has launched to connect people who have massive, stupid holes in their ears.

Are you a nightmare to go out with?

DO your relationships keep ending badly? It could be because you’re a fucking nightmare to go out with. Take our test and find out.

How to kill sexual arousal by describing your own sexual arousal

DO you want to engage in passionate lovemaking but can’t help describing it in a really naff way? Here’s how to kill any chance of sexual activity.