Cat wants open relationship

A CAT has told its owner that it wants to be free to see and be fed by other people.

Woman manages to get husband a present before he buys it himself on Amazon

A WOMAN has managed to buy her husband a present before he bought it himself on Amazon.

Husband thinks he won argument

A MAN is labouring under the delusion that he has won an argument with his wife.

Woman takes any compliment as an insult

A WOMAN has the amazing ability to take any compliment given her and instantly turn it into an insult, her partner has confirmed.

Woman who stalks exes on Facebook 'just keeping in touch'

A WOMAN who regularly stalks her exes on Facebook has insisted she is 'just keeping in touch'. 

Woman having affair so she doesn't waste her suntan

A 32-YEAR-OLD woman has embarked on an affair in order not to waste her suntan.

Six perfect times to send a dick pic

ONCE men courted ladies with flowers, but today’s lovelorn troubadour sends a quick snap of his penis instead. But when is the perfect time?

Man marries woman he doesn't fancy to be polite

A BRITISH man has married a woman he is not attracted to out of sheer British politeness.

90 per cent of girlfriends' questions not intended to be answered

THE majority of questions asked by girlfriends are thinking out loud and should not be answered, boyfriends have confirmed.

'I was hoping you'd have a lightsaber,' says woman on arriving at date's flat

A WOMAN confirmed that she made the right choice of sexual partner when seeing a replica lightsaber mounted on the wall of his home.