Relationships

'How you been?' 'Alright, you?' say brothers who haven't seen each other in four months

A PAIR of brothers separated for the whole of lockdown have effortlessly slipped back into their emotionally detached rapport.

Five virtual date ideas to make you glad you're single

ARE you pining for romance among the socially-distanced? Try these virtual date ideas then be glad you’re alone until 2021.

'I've just taken the bins out', and other ways to tell your partner you're not up for a shag

NOT interested in any hanky-panky tonight? Want to let your partner down gently? Try these perfectly reasonable ways of getting out of it.

Couple with en-suite bathroom never realised how intimate it would make their shits

A COUPLE in a new home with an en-suite bathroom never knew how intimate they would become with each others’ excretions.

Couple to divorce after man cries at videogame

A MAN is facing divorce after his wife found him sobbing real tears at the end of a videogame.

Couple perfectly matched unless they're driving, cooking, eating or choosing what to watch

A COUPLE have a fantastic relationship in all the moments when they are not arguing about where to go, what to eat, or how to do literally anything.

Boyfriend and cat getting on little too well for girlfriend's liking

A CAT has formed a suspiciously strong bond with its owner’s boyfriend, she has confirmed.

Man tries to impress woman with everything that makes him a twat

A MAN has attempted to impress his date with all the aspects of his personality that make him an unbearable twat.

Woman who caught boyfriend cheating again wonders if she's the arsehole

A WOMAN who has caught her boyfriend cheating for the fourth time has concluded that it must be her fault.

Boyfriend talking over programme like he's more interesting than television

A WOMAN'S partner keeps starting conversations in front of the television believing he is more appealing than what she has chosen to watch.