Relationships

YES, it’s that time of year when society decides you should be unrealistically loved-up. So how is Valentine’s Day not living up to expectations for you?

IF YOU’RE currently in a relationship, you have probably already resigned yourself to a financial outlay of between £5 and £48.99 on cards, gifts and a possible expensive takeaway.

A BOYFRIEND who ‘cannot read minds’ can not comprehend verbal or written instructions either, his partner has confirmed.

A COUPLE on date night cannot wait to finish their meal, get home, go straight up to the bedroom and have a good, long phone browsing session.

A ROMANTIC comedy-style romp in the snow has made a couple realise it is not romantic and their partner is a bastard.

A MAN has voted for ‘alternative arrangements’ to allow him to continue having sex with his wife’s best friend without his wife finding out. 

ARE you new to the dating scene? Here are some freakish dating behaviours you’ll encounter in our weird modern world.

A WOMAN using a dating app has confirmed she is not being shallow but physical attributes matter more to her than character.

A MAN and woman who began salsa dancing to meet a new partner have fallen deeply in love over what bullshit salsa dancing is.

A HOPELESSLY lovestruck online dater is trying to work up the courage to ask his crush if she would like to receive a photo of his dick.