Relationships

BOUGHT a jigsaw, begun a jigsaw, and found yourself frantically f**king because anything but the bloody jigsaw? Try these other ways to get going.

A MARRIED couple are kindly reaching out to their single friends who are too busy wanking, eating and getting drunk to answer.

LONELY? Here are the four of worst ex-lovers to start a texting spree with now you’re feeling unloved in lockdown.

OWNERS of inflatable sex dolls are asking their critics who the desperate, frustrated weirdos are now.

COUPLES unable to get out of the way of other pedestrians for fear of their love have been advised that they will be fine.

IS your relationship struggling during the lockdown? Check out these perfectly legal grounds for divorce while isolating.

A MARRIED couple in lockdown with absolutely nothing to do are still not bored enough to have sex with each other. 

A SINGLE man is looking for a partner who is open to an initially non-physical relationship, escalating dependency and living together within two weeks.

ARE you in a codependent female friendship and worried about which of you will meet someone first? Here are some ways to make sure you ‘win’.

A WOMAN finds the noise of her husband chewing so annoying that she would quite like him to starve to death.