Good-looking bastard not hiding secret sensitive side

A HANDSOME but obnoxious man is not hiding a deep, sensitive side like in films and is just a prick, it has emerged.

Woman who thinks she's a 'matchmaker' hasn't noticed she is shit at it

A WOMAN who believes she is a brilliant matchmaker is actually just inflicting misery on her single friends, it has emerged.

Parents desperate for daughter to settle down into marriage as annoying as theirs

TWO loving parents cannot rest until their daughter finds a man who can make her as smug and unbearable as they are.

Woman who only dates 'bad boys' can't believe they all cheat on her

A WOMAN who only goes out with 'bad boys' is shocked they cheat on her even though it is pretty clear they are dicks.

Britain's favourite sexual position is watching television

BRITAIN'S favourite sexual position is watching the television, according to a new survey.

Dad who reckons he could have been a rock star if it wasn't for his family is wrong

A MAN who thinks he would have been a famous rock star if he had not had a family would not have been, it has been confirmed.

Man who's slept with loads of women just has no standards and lies a lot

A MAN who has bedded a vast number of women does it by sleeping with anyone and lying frequently.

'Plenty more fish in the sea' no longer applicable to marine life or dating, experts confirm

THE phrase ‘there’s plenty more fish in the sea’ is now untrue whether used to refer to the availabiity of romantic partners or the actual sea, it has emerged.

Couple quietly agree never to mention anniversary again

A COUPLE have quietly decided that neither of them will mention their anniversary ever again.

Couple arguing in public are bloody excellent

A COUPLE who had a blazing row in public both entertained bystanders and gave them a valuable psychological boost.