Relationships

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A NEW dating app matches couples entirely based on correct grammar usage in written communications.

A MAN who enjoys referring to his partner of 15 years ‘the wife’ does not know she calls him ‘that bastard’.

A KEEN-EYED boyfriend has spotted that the top of his partner’s hair has, over the last four months, changed to a different colour than the rest of it.

A MAN has begun the process of seducing his wife by telling her he fancies a shag tonight.

THAT sound is a vibrator, and you are listening to your housemate get her rocks off. Here's five other things that unmistakeable noise could be if you try very hard to convince yourself.

A FATHER-OF-TWO who received motor racing and DIY-themed Father’s Day cards has asked his children if they even know who he f**king is.

THE nation’s fathers are looking forward to mothers stepping up and doing something for a change this Father’s Day.

A WOMAN is going to extreme lengths to make people comment on the large gemstone on her finger, it has emerged.

A MAN meeting a date for a stately stroll around blooming gardens without touching at any point feels like Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice, he has admitted.