Five new dating trends to make you think 'F**k it, I'll stay single'

ARE you new to the dating scene? Here are some freakish dating behaviours you’ll encounter in our weird modern world.

'Not to be shallow, but no one under six foot' says shallow woman on dating app

A WOMAN using a dating app has confirmed she is not being shallow but physical attributes matter more to her than character.

Couple fall in love over shared hatred of salsa

A MAN and woman who began salsa dancing to meet a new partner have fallen deeply in love over what bullshit salsa dancing is.

Giddy, lovestruck online dater working up courage to send photo of his penis

A HOPELESSLY lovestruck online dater is trying to work up the courage to ask his crush if she would like to receive a photo of his dick. 

Parents dreading seeing you

YOUR parents are dreading trying to make conversation with you over the dinner table this Christmas, they have admitted.

To tell you what I want for Christmas would be a defeat, says girlfriend

A WOMAN has admitted that simply telling her boyfriend what she might like for Christmas would be an unconscionable failure.

If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best, declares sociopath

A SOCIOPATH has confirmed that if you cannot handle her at her worst then you do not deserve her at her best, for some reason.

Man whose girlfriend gave up cheese 'needs to think about his options'

A MAN whose girlfriend has announced she will no longer be eating cheese is having a long hard think about their relationship.

Everyone in restaurant hoping those two are father and daughter

ALL the diners in a restaurant are desperately hoping that couple are father and daughter.