Relationships

ALL'S fair in love and war, right? No. Because if you fancy the wrong person you are a terrible individual or even a pervert. So under no circumstances fancy these people.

WANT to skive off household chores? Do these just-about-tolerable ones to show you’re doing your bit while your partner gets stuck with properly shit tasks.

LOVE TV, but hate the smug couples you’re supposed to root for? Here are five awful pairings to inspire you never to find love.

NO calls to hang out this week? Don’t panic, your friends don’t hate you, you might be just outside everyone’s rule of six by being seventh on the list.

A married couple are having two entirely separate conversations without realising it.

ARE you a gorgeous woman who dreams of nabbing your very own Danny DeVito?

A MAN has managed to get his wife to stop her incessant moaning by doing the thing she was asking him to do.

LOVE life on the rocks? Need a quick fix? Try these romantic acts of spontaneity that will not help at all.

A MAN has made the foolish mistake of joining in on his girlfriend's self-deprecating joke about how terrible her hair looks.

A WOMAN is at a loss over how to break it to her husband that he has been crap at foreplay for the last nine years.