Relationships

DESPITE the endless alternatives available to him, an unimaginative man has chosen to masturbate while thinking of his girlfriend.

A COUPLE who have been going out for three weeks have pledged to continue having sex every day for the rest of their relationship. 

THE PM’s latest lie came about from helping Carrie’s chum Pen Farthing rescue dogs from Kabul. So could you survive going out with high-maintenance Carrie? Play our interactive game.

A COUPLE who met when they were 16 and have been married for 35 years say they both hugely regret not f**king more people.

PEOPLE who say they feel happier without a relationship are lying to themselves and others, it has been confirmed.

STRUGGLING to please a lady in bed? Never fear, for I, Stephen Malley, expert on women and sex from years of online study, can deliver you to sexual greatness.

A MAN is blaming his lack of sex on the pandemic, even though physical restrictions ended several months ago.

A COUPLE are celebrating a magical decade of him having far more affection for her than she does for him, and her being substantially out of his league.

AS Prince Andrew will attest, it’s hard to tell if a friend is running a high-end sex trafficking operation. Look out for these subtle clues next time you pop round.

DATING as a teenager usually followed eight months of lovesick obsession, which came out by absolutely f**king things up.