Science & Technology

IN the old days, a phone call was a pleasant diversion, but now you’re actively afraid of answering. Here’s how to handle it.

NASA’S Dart probe has crashed into and killed the first emerging specimen of alien life, it has been confirmed.

A DAD has finally responded to a message sent several years ago, it has emerged.

WANT to cheat on your partner but don’t like getting grief for it? Science is your friend. Here are some great pseudo-scientific excuses for shitty male behaviour.

A PENSIONER couple have moved their smart energy meter to the coffee table and sit watching it all day, they have confirmed.

IS the whole country as one, brought together by grief for our monarch no matter what your political persuasion, or have you seen social media?

A FRIEND has started a new WhatsApp group, inviting you and 16 other close acquaintances, to plan an upcoming bowel movement.

YOU know Facebook is a cynical corporation partly responsible for the f**ked up state of the world and yet you can’t bring yourself to delete it. Here are your lame reasons why not.

COMPANIES have admitted that they never record phone calls for training or quality purposes, instead keeping them indefinitely for no reason.

THEY harvest your data, sell it on and use your every click to advertise you stuff, all perfectly targeted. Until you f**k with them.