Science & Technology
Mars mission to include insane murderous astronaut
THE three-man Mars mission will include one mentally unhinged astronaut.
Cats actually disgusting
CAT allergies are caused by all the revolting shit lurking beneath their flawless exterior.
Driverless cars to have mouth-like bonnets lined with fangs
NEW driverless cars will have fang-lined bonnets which open and close like massive mouths.
Oldest sexy calendar gives insight into ancient garage workers
EXPERTS are analysing a 10,000 year old calendar to uncover the erotic preferences of ancient mechanics.
Children with three parents allowed to adapt Larkin poem
CHILDREN born using three-person IVF will be allowed to quote an adapted version of Philip Larkin's This Be the Verse.
Pope buys electric oboe
POPE Francis is to relaunch Christianity using state-of-the-art video software and an electronic wind instrument.